One of the toughest things about walking through ongoing trials is the long term effect on our emotions and often, the effect on our ability to trust God.
On this week’s episode of The Christian Mindset Coach podcast, you’ll hear Beverly’s journey back to godly confidence despite walking through an extended period of unemployment. Beverly, one of my coaching clients from the Christian Mindset Makeover, shares how addressing some core issues about how she’d defined her identity helped to renew and rebuild her confidence from God and ease her anxiety.
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:
- [01:42] Beverly’s story: How life trials revealed a need to address her confidence in God
- [08:10] How perfectionism, people pleasing and imposter syndrome contributed to Beverly’s question: “Does God really care?”
- [11:39] Why the challenge of processing difficult emotions can decrease godly confidence
- [18:18] What is brain priming and how can it help with godly confidence?
- [26:53] Beverly’s final thoughts on experiencing God in a new way after the Christian Mindset Makeover
- [28:31] Your invitation to greater confidence in Christ
[01:42] Beverly’s story: How life trials revealed a need to address her confidence in God
Emotional security is such an important concept when things feel uncertain because it is what holds us together. While that may feel like an obvious statement, the important thing about emotional security is that it is built before the crisis comes.
Like the parable of the house built on the sand or the rock, when times are tough we can see what our foundation or our security is built upon. Walking through life trials is often a great revealer of what we cling to as our ultimate security.
Beverly shares that she has been a woman of God for a long time, but that she was struggling with confidence while walking through a season of unemployment. She joined the Christian Mindset Makeover and together we worked to uncover some of the reasons why she felt this lack of confidence, despite her deep love for the Lord and what she knew to be true about God. We discussed why it made sense that her confidence was shaken, where that lack of confidence could be stemming from, and more specifically, what the subconscious soundtracks were for her that were running the show.
[08:10] How perfectionism, people pleasing and imposter syndrome contributed to Beverly’s question: “Does God really care?”
Beverly shared that there were many contributing factors to her anxiety “perfect storm.” She had lost her job, and was frustrated, especially after just coming out of a real loss in life. She prayed the Lord would carry her through, and tried to continue through life with a “I'm gonna come in here and just be a rockstar” mindset, but she was quickly confronted with imposter syndrome. She also came to realize she struggled with perfectionism that manifested itself in such a way that she wouldn’t do certain things if she wasn’t going to do them perfectly because she didn’t feel good enough. There were also relationships that she was bending over backward for with people-pleasing tendencies and yet still felt herself falling into comparison traps.
In all of these moments, she struggled with wondering if God could hear her or if he really cared. She felt that as a “good Christian girl” she had followed all of the rules and done everything she was supposed to, but things weren’t working out the way she had prayed. These half-truths about God resulted in trust issues with God and led to more disappointment which really wreaked havoc on her confidence level and believing that God was really with her.
[11:39] Why the challenge of processing difficult emotions can decrease godly confidence
Many Christian women are overwhelmed by big emotions like disappointment, especially if those emotions relate to their relationship with God, and don't know how to handle them. As the Church, we may say, “you should feel this about God” but we get to these gray areas of life where we experience these emotions and unanswered questions, and we’re left wondering how to even begin to process them. Since most of us never learn how to address challenging emotions and God questions with confidence, often these ongoing trials can result in spiritual blockages and trust issues with God.
Prior to the Christian Mindset Makeover, Beverly was a firm believer in “if you confess the Word, it will pass. It will work out.” But during this ongoing trial she felt she was confessing God’s truth, but with no result. When we have emotions that haven’t been processed, they can create blockages that keep us from receiving. God's Word still has power, but if we're negating the power of it due to unprocessed emotions, we can't absorb it.
Beverly shared that one of the things that the Christian Mindset Makeover helped her discover is the truth that the Christian walk is more than just about behavior modification. It’s really about a spiritual transformation, which cannot take place without knowledge, and knowledge can't take place until we really understand how the mind works.
It's biblical truth in partnership with how the brain works. Beverly feels her time in the Christian Mindset Makeover cemented the power of God's word for her, and reminded her that we do have the ability to make changes, we just have to decide.
[18:18] What is brain priming and how can it help with godly confidence?
Alicia refers to brain priming as the heart of the Christian Mindset Makeover, as they spend the first four to five weeks unearthing and getting to the root of core soundtracks of the mind. They boil them all the way down and find how they connect so they can find what they need to release and replace with God’s truth. Brain priming itself is a 63 to 67 day process of removing those old neurons and replacing them with new thoughts, using the science of God as the vehicle to deliver the medicine of God's work
Beverly felt the most powerful piece of brain priming for her was that she was really able to internalize it, speaking it out loud, repetitively throughout the course of the morning and at night until it became a part of her.
Beverly felt that by week 2 or 3 of brain priming she was able to fully embrace the work they had done during brain priming. She was in the midst of her job search and needed to say those things to herself on an everyday basis. As she was applying for roles and preparing for interviews, the self-talk really helped her. She began to notice changes in confidence even in the midst of rejection, when she was still able to say “With God’s Holy Spirit, I always win.” She knew that that was coming from the Lord.
[26:53] Beverly’s final thoughts on experiencing God in a new way after the Christian Mindset Makeover
Beverly shared that no matter where you are in your Christian journey, the Christian Mindset Makeover will bless you to experience God in a greater way. She says she shares her experience with the course as much as she can because it was a life-changing investment in her identity and confidence. In addition, she believes it was God's masterful design that He allowed her to undergo this spiritual and emotional healing during this ongoing trial of unemployment.
She reflects on the fact that we're not in this life by ourselves, that we have a God who loves us, who cares for us, and we can trust Him. Knowing this, she says, we can come boldly to His throne of grace and receive the help that we need; and then we can go out boldly, and be our best selves.
[28:31] Your Invitation to Greater Confidence in Christ
One of Alicia’s favorite parts of Beverly's story is that God allowed her to rebuild her confidence before she got her next job. She felt like He was saying, “Let me do this work for you so that you'll know that the change is not because your outward situation turned around, but because I am changing you from the inside out.”
If you're ready for that kind of change, Alicia invites you to join her in the Christian Mindset Makeover. It's a nine week program where they get to the root of what is causing us to be emotionally and spiritually stuck. Often there are patterns in our subconscious mind that affect how we feel we need to receive love or how we need to show up to be worthy and feel enough. Usually those patterns are related to past experiences often in childhood, so a part of the Mindset Makeover walks through a very specific process to understand where these thoughts are coming from, how those thought patterns have developed, and allows us to lovingly examine these thoughts the way Christ looks at us with compassion so that He can help us work through them.
Alicia guides you through brain priming as part of the Mindset Makeover, which is an amazing chance to invest in changing yourself from who you might be right now and helping you step into that full expansion of the identity that God has given you. If you're interested in that experience, you can find more information at ChristianMindsetMakeover.com.
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OTHER PODCAST EPISODES ON GODLY CONFIDENCE:
- Ep 147: 3 Powerful Ways Christian Women Can Cultivate Godly Confidence with Trish Blackwell
- Ep 177: Coping with Grief and Shattering Loss when Tragedy Strikes with Lisa Appelo
- Ep 120: The Truth About Finding Contentment in God During Trials with Nicole Jacobsmeyer
- Ep 129: How to Use Brain Science to Identify Toxic Thinking Patterns and Break Free from Negative Thoughts
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Do you struggle with worry and anxiety? You’re not alone—Anxiety is arguably the #1 mental health issue today, even for Christians.
As a former anxiety sufferer (and a NeuroCoach that’s worked with 100s of women) I’ve learned that we need practical mindset TOOLS (based on both brain science and God’s word) to get His calming TRUTH into our thoughts.
That’s why I host my FREE anxiety workshop: 3 Steps to Freedom from Anxiety Based on Brain Science + the Bible… and you’re invited to join me!